Thriving at Your Own Pace: Reimagining Trauma Healing Strategies
As an Internal Family Systems (IFS) trained therapist, I've had the privilege of witnessing clients on their trauma-healing journeys. This path from mere survival to a state of thriving is not a quick or easy one. It requires deep patience, the right timing, and the proper support. In this blog, I want to share some thoughts on reimagining trauma coping strategies, drawing on the wisdom of Bessel Van der Kolk’s "The Body Keeps the Score" and Deborah Dana’s "Befriending Your Nervous System".
Understanding Trauma: The Body Keeps the Score
Bessel Van der Kolk's innovative book, "The Body Keeps the Score," reveals how trauma imprints itself on both the mind and body. He emphasizes that trauma is not just a memory of a past event but a lived experience that persists within us. This understanding is crucial for healing, as it shifts the focus from trying to “think our way out” of trauma, to actually feeling and addressing it within our bodies.
Van der Kolk’s work teaches us that our bodies can hold onto trauma, manifesting in physical symptoms and emotional distress. Recognizing this helps us approach our healing holistically by integrating both mind and body. We learn that talking about our experiences is just one piece of the puzzle; we must also listen to what our bodies are telling us.
Befriending Your Nervous System
Deborah Dana’s book, "Befriending Your Nervous System," builds on Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory, which highlights the importance of our nervous system in trauma response. Dana encourages us to develop a compassionate relationship with our nervous system, understanding that our responses to trauma are not signs of weakness but survival mechanisms.
Dana’s approach is gentle and empowering. She teaches that by befriending our nervous system, we can better manage our trauma responses and gradually move toward healing. This involves recognizing when we are in states of hyperarousal or shutdown and learning ways to bring ourselves back to a state of calm and safety.
Reimagining Coping Strategies
With insights from Van der Kolk and Dana, we can reimagine our coping strategies to move beyond survival. Here are some key steps to consider:
1. Mindful Awareness and Self-Compassion
Trauma healing cannot be rushed. It's essential to develop mindful awareness and self-compassion. This means acknowledging our trauma responses without judgment and treating ourselves with the same kindness we would offer a dear friend. As Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion suggests, this involves recognizing our shared humanity and responding to our pain with warmth and care.
2. Listening to Your Body
Understanding that trauma lives in the body means incorporating somatic practices into healing. Yoga, tai chi, and mindful movement can help us reconnect with our bodies, release stored tension, and foster a sense of safety within ourselves. These practices are not just physical exercises; they are ways to tune into our bodies wisdom and nurture our healing. If you are interested in somatic practices for healing trauma, I strongly recommend seeking out a Somatic trained therapist who can safely guide and support you in this process.
3. Breathwork and Meditation
Breathing exercises and meditation are powerful tools for regulating the nervous system. Techniques like deep diaphragmatic breathing, box breathing, and guided meditations can help calm the mind and body, reducing anxiety and promoting relaxation. Regular practice of these techniques can create a foundation of inner peace and resilience.
4. Safe and Supportive Relationships
Healing from trauma often requires the support of safe and nurturing relationships. This might involve close friends, family members, or a trusted therapist. Therapy provides a space to explore and process trauma in a secure environment. The therapeutic relationship itself can be a powerful source of healing, offering validation, empathy, and connection.
**Please remember that not every therapist will be the right fit for you. Be curious about how your nervous system is responding to a certain therapist; it’s more than okay to shop around for the right professional who will cultivate a sense of safety as you explore your trauma experience.
5. Creative Expression
Art, music, dance, and writing can be powerful outlets for processing and expressing emotions that may be difficult to verbalize. Engaging in creative activities allows for self-expression and can be incredibly therapeutic. These forms of expression help us process our experiences in ways that words alone often cannot.
6. Psychoeducation and Empowerment
Understanding how trauma affects the brain and body can be empowering. Learning about the autonomic nervous system, the impact of trauma on brain function, and the body's natural healing mechanisms can demystify the experience of trauma and reduce feelings of shame or self-blame. Knowledge is power, and understanding our trauma responses can be a crucial step towards healing.
Embracing the Journey
Healing from trauma is not a linear process; it is a journey that unfolds in its own time. It’s important to honor your pace and recognize that healing requires the right timing and support. There will be setbacks and challenges, but there will also be moments of profound growth and transformation.
As an IFS therapist, I often speak about the importance of connecting with our internal parts—the wounded exiles, the protectors, and the Self. Each part of us has a role in our survival, and by approaching these parts with curiosity and compassion, we can integrate them into our journey of healing. This internal dialogue is not rushed but nurtured with patience and understanding.
Moving Toward Thriving
By integrating the wisdom of our bodies, understanding our nervous system responses, and approaching our healing with self-compassion, we can create a life that is not just about surviving but truly thriving.
Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this path. Embrace the tools and resources that resonate with you, and know that it is never too late to begin the journey of healing.
Begin Trauma Therapy in Toronto, ON
If you’re ready to take the first step, connect with me here to book a free 15-minute consultation. I look forward to holding a supportive space for you as you begin your journey. You can start your therapy journey with Michelle Kent Counseling by following these simple steps:
Contact me so we can hear your story.
Start overcoming past pain!
Other Services Offered at Michelle Kent Counseling
Trauma therapy isn’t the only mental health concern I offer support with. I know the demands of work, life, and everything in between can be hard to juggle at times. I am dedicated to helping you navigate and overcome stress. In addition to therapy for stress management in Toronto, ON, I specialize in first responder counseling, young caregiver counselling, compassion-focused therapy, and more. Visit my about page or blog to learn more!
